My dear sweet Superfriend being the kind of nice guy he is, invites our next door neighbor over to work on her flash cards. I gotta hand it to her, she must care about her grades because I’m pretty sure it’s summer break and she’s committed enough to work on flash cards. And she’s pretty darn good at them.
Anyway, I’m watching them go over the flash cards. I’m also watching Superfriend try and explain “short-cuts” to a little girl that hasn’t had a chance to learn about odd and even numbers yet. She just blinked at him. It was humorous. Never-the-less, he clearly was enjoying himself.
This is all fine and good until I realized exactly how much he was enjoying himself. Then I had flashbacks of our engagement where he was convinced we should get started on the whole kid having thing right away.
So I found the nearest closet to hide in to avoid the “baby” conversation.
Let’s face it. I’m kind of a terrible housewife. Yes, things are generally clean and he usually has clean underwear (usually), but I am just not a “Martha” type. I tried to make cookies from scratch today, and I was so distracted by a Richard Nixon special on the Military Channel that I burned them and they became this burned blob mess. They taste okay, but they’re so not pretty. Like the sign in my kitchen says, “I kiss better than I cook.” Hopefully that’s actually true.
So while I was in the closet, it occurred to me that I’m just not prepared for the whole motherhood thing. I’m still in negotiations with Superfriend over getting a housekeeper. How can I manage a baby?
By this time our neighbor girl was finished with her round of flash cards. I asked her what other subjects she liked. She said reading. Finally. I could totally relate. Then she told me she likes books about cats. AND she lost me. Somehow in the middle of all this she’s talked me into helping her with her reading. I agreed, but now I’m left wondering how does one help a fourth grader learn to read.
I’m a weirdo. I read Man O’ War in third grade. I read Angela’s Ashes in sixth. What is a normal fourth grade girl supposed to be reading? Any suggestions? I have a copy of Anne of Green Gables, but I for sure have no books about cats. Because the story of a cat is pretty short.
Cat is born in the barn. Cat likes the milk you sneak out there. Cat lets you pet it. Cat grows up. Cat wanders away or worse… And your mother explains that the cat went to live on another farm because he was allergic to the hay. They have less hay on their farm, apparently. I am suspicious, but but by then another litter is born and the cycle repeats itself.
So now I have to find a cat book that’s appropriate for a fourth grade girl. By tomorrow. Because I’m pretty sure fourth grade girls don’t want to read about Richard Nixon, Ronald Reagan, or the abdication of King Edward VIII.
No really. I need help, like in a therapist willing to meet in my linen closet kind of way.